


how to fall apart three different ways: book one

by linds



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 12:31:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6239407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/linds/pseuds/linds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>book one: loving someone who cannot love at all</p>
            </blockquote>





	how to fall apart three different ways: book one

“Tell me about your brother.”

Her eyes flicker to where he sits in his chair; his legs are crossed and he has his hands folded neatly atop one knee. 

“Tell me about what drove you to alcoholism,” she bites back. 

He sighs and quickly runs a hand through messy brown hair. There are splotches of gray on the side of his head. His eyes show just how tired he feels, a side effect of his sessions with her.

She stands abruptly and walks to the large, rectangular window overlooking the busy main road. People hustle around each other. A man attempts to drag his dog away from a kid eating ice cream, though his tugs at the dog’s leash do not prevent the theft of the kid’s ice cream.

“I used to consider him a god, you know,” she says absently.

“Used to? What made you change your mind?”

It is cold in the room. The heat does not begin to kick in until the afternoon. She runs her fingertips along the windowsill, idly observing the thin coating of dust. She contemplates telling him that he should the janitor try to take better care of the room; after all, that is what he is being paid for.

“What made you change your mind, Nora?” he repeats. She regrets bringing it up at all, yet she still turns slowly to face him and intentionally locks eyes with him.

“Well, gods are incapable of dying, aren’t they?”

*** 

Her body is made of the dreams that died inside of her when she was sixteen. Eyes crafted from the cruelty she learned from the world look hard at the bottle of vodka standing on the table before her. A shot glass rests next to it, calling to her, taunting her.

“Mary Louise, I would do anything for you.”

She unscrews the cap on the bottle and pours herself the first of eleven shots. 

***

The bells on the door chime at the heels of a new customer walking in. Mary Louise turns briefly to see if she knows who it is, though she knows before she looks that she does not. Living in an unfamiliar area does not shatter her hope that she will one day see someone with a familiar face.

“Can I help you?” the cashier calls out to her. She looks back in front of her to see that the two people who were standing in front of her in line are gone.

She give a small, semi-apologetic smile and steps forward. “I’ll have a medium black coffee, please.”

“Black? Are you sure?” the cashier asks, eyeing her warily.

“Yes—is that a problem?”

“No. We just don’t get a lot of people who look like you asking for their coffee black.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“I—nothing, it doesn’t mean anything I was just—”

“Valerie, just go make the damn cup of coffee,” someone shouts from behind the counter. Mary Louise watches as a woman around her age, though with a slightly smaller frame, makes her way to Valerie. “Just stop talking.”

Valerie smiles at Mary Louise sheepishly and walks away. Mary Louise’s eyes flitter down to the woman’s nametag: Nora.

“Sorry about her,” Nora says. “She’s a bit...socially awkward, I guess. No one really knows what she’s saying half the time, to be completely honest with you.”

Mary Louise forces a quiet, polite chuckle and Nora gives her a kind smile. “It’s all right. Not the first time I’ve had a weird encounter with a cashier,” Mary Louise admits.

“Well, I hope it hasn’t deterred you from coming back here again,” Nora tells her.

“Not at all—this is the cheapest place on my route to work. I wouldn’t want to pay an extra dollar just because of this.”

Someone in line behind Mary Louise huffs impatiently and Mary Louise steps to the side so that the next person can approach the counter. Nora gives the man who comes up to the counter a forced smile and gives Mary Louise a small wave goodbye when Valerie hands her a cup of coffee. Mary Louise returns the wave before turning to leave.

***

“You look like shit.” 

Blonde hair whips around as a face peers up from behind a desk to stare at Mary Louise. “Fuck you,” the woman tells her. Mary Louise barks out a laugh. The woman notices the cup of coffee in Mary Louise’s hand. “Is that for me?”

“What have you ever done for me to deserve this?” Mary Louise asks. 

The woman rolls her eyes. “Well, there was that time I pretended to be your girlfriend so that creepy guy would leave you alone,” she reminds her.

“Ashley—you pretended to be my girlfriend so that creepy guy would leave you alone.”

“Yeah, but as a result, he did not attempt to pursue you, either! You kind of owe me,” Ashley says. 

Mary Louise shrugs and hands Ashley the cup of coffee without further objections. Smiling happily, Ashley grabs for the coffee and takes a sip. The look of pure disgust that Ashley’s face contorts into once the coffee hits her tongue makes Mary Louise laugh deeply. 

“This is awful! What the hell is wrong with you, Mary Louise?”

“What can I say? I like my coffee to be bitterer than Isabella’s personality.”  
Ashley allows herself to laugh. “Is bitterer even a word? I’m pretty sure you just made it up.”

“I think it’s a word. It doesn’t matter. Where is Isabella, anyway? Has she come in yet?” Mary Louise asks.

“Thankfully not. It’s still too early for me to deal with her shit.”

The familiar sound of heels clicking against hardwood floors caused a deep blush to creep up Ashley’s face. Mary Louise turned slightly to catch sight of Isabella walking towards the two of them, a smirk upon her face.

“Wow, Ashley, could you talk any louder? I heard you down the hall,” Isabella tells her. Ashley looks guiltily at the surface of her desk, finding a sudden interest with the small scratches that have accumulated over the past months. “What’s wrong? Too early to—how did you word it?—‘deal with me shit’?” Isabella taunts.

“Isabella, I’m—”

“Sorry?” Isabella finishes for her. Ashley nods in shame, face still bright red and burning. Isabella laughs and rolls her eyes. “I don’t pay you to like me. I pay you to get your shit done. Go to work, Ashley.”

Ashley nods rapidly as Isabella walks past the desk and down the hallway to her office. Once she is out of sight, Ashley nods in relief and looks up at Mary Louise. “I thought I was going to be fired.”

“I still don’t know why she puts up with you,” Mary Louise tells her with a short laugh. 

Ashley shrugs, also unsure of the answer. 

***

“Are you going to say anything?” he asks, eyes burning holes into her.

Nora raises an eyebrow and shrugs, testing him. She always tests him. And he always fails.

“These sessions are anything but productive,” he tells her. Like she does not already know that. 

She continues to watch him, studying the way he swings one leg to rest on top the other, the way he folds and unfolds his hands atop his raised knee. He leans forward slightly, studying her the same way she does him.

“Why are you here, Nora?”

That catches her off guard. Her shoulders slump a bit and she presses her back into the chair she is in. The silence is uncomfortable and she swallows in an attempt to force the lump in her throat to disappear. She stands up suddenly and leaves the room, one thought racing through her mind: ‘Why am I here?’

***

November is quickly approaching; Mary Louise tries not to think about it, because November means midterms, and midterms mean finally acknowledging that she has not done anything in her classes throughout the entire semester. 

She could forgive herself easily for slacking if she is the one paying for her education, but the loan her father gave her for the semester weighs heavily on her shoulders. She knows she should try harder, but the bottom of a bottle is a lot more tempting and enjoyable than reading and analyzing poetry and novels.

Her footsteps are hard against the concrete as she makes her way towards the building that holds the classroom for her Introduction to Academic Writing class. If she hadn’t been forced into taking the class (unfortunately, it is a requirement for all undergraduates to take), there is no way in hell that she would be here now.

There is a boy a few steps in front of her who walks far slower than she is, yet somehow makes it to the door before her. He does not look back to see if there is anyone behind him, and shuts the door in Mary Louise’s face. Muttering under her breath, she pushes the door open angrily, watching as the boy drags his feet down the hall. 

She hopes he trips and lands on his face.

***

“I’m so fucking late,” Nora says aloud to no one in particular. Perhaps she should be saving up for a car; taking three buses and walking two blocks just to get to class is unreasonable. She tries not to think about it as her eyes burn from the cold, because thinking about it will just remind her that colder weather is yet to come.

Showing up to this class is pointless. She can churn out essays in less than an hour, bullshitting them entirely and still somehow managing to get A’s. Yet, much to her dismay, her professor counts attendance as 20% of the grade she can earn in that class. 

She sighs dramatically as she pushes open the door to the building and trudges along the hallway. She dreads the class before it even starts, as she does each day she must attend it.

***

Mary Louise is just settling into her seat and beginning to write the date at the top corner of her notebook page when she hears the door squeak open. She looks up, noticing the brown mess of hair before anything else. 

As the girl walks in, Mary Louise tries to place the feeling of familiarity when she sees her face. She knows that she must know her from somewhere—other than class, that is. If she is being honest with herself, the only people she notices from this class is the boy who sits to her left, and the girl who sits in front of her.

She could not recognize anyone else even if she tries to.

Yet she senses that she has met this girl before, and her suspicion is confirmed when the girl locks eyes with her and smiles softly. She makes her way toward the back to sit to Mary Louise’s right in a seat that is always empty—the only thing Mary Louise likes about his class is the small number of people in it.

“Hi! I didn’t know you were in this class,” Nora states. The way she speaks to Mary Louise as if they are friends startles the other girl a bit, though she quickly overcomes her surprise.

“Yeah. I’m Mary Louise,” she says.

“I’m Nora. It’s cool that I finally know someone in this class now.”

Nora She tries to place the name. Nora...Nora...Nora...Nora! Her face lights up as she remembers the coffee shop and the cashier who had ushered the other employee away when she began acting weird towards Mary Louise.

“Do you...remember me at all? I mean—I don’t expect you to. We only talked for, like, five minutes,” Nora rambles. Mary Louise nods and smiles at her.

“Yes, I remember. You kicked Valerie out of cash register duty,” Mary Louise jokes. Nora allows a small laugh.

“Yeah—she can be...really confusing sometimes,” Nora admits.

“That’s all right. My coffee was pretty good. Have you been working there long? That was the first time I ever saw you there,” Mary Louise tells her.

“That was actually my first day. Me and Valerie have been friends for a while, though. She’s actually the one who helped me get the job,” Nora explains. 

Mary Louise nods absently. “That’s cool.”

The two of them look to the front of the room, realizing that their professor has been talking the entire time. They look at each other and laugh quietly before turning back to focus on their professor.


End file.
